Alone Australia Recap – Episode 7 – Sur-thriving

Episode 7 of Alone Australia dished up a healthy dose of drama and a very unhealthy dose of no food, for some. Tim loved it.

 

I truly enjoy the choice quotes at the start of each episode but this one takes the cake:

‘There’s something to be said for hunger: at least it lets you know you’re still alive.’ – Margaret Atwood.

Big oof. If anything this series has shown me one thing – some of us can get away with eating surprisingly little. That being said, it’s best to start off chunky. When the apocalypse comes, those in activewear will be the first to go.

I watched tonight’s episode with my girlfriend, who had never seen an episode of Alone before. ‘So it’s like the Bachelor then?’.

‘Uh, yeah, kinda!’

When I was rapidly explaining the setting, premise, and history of the show I was reminded of some comments I’ve seen recently about it being a ‘man made’ environment, as the location is clearly some kind of dam.

More on that later, let’s tuck into Episode 7.

 

Read more: Alone Australia: Where is Alone Australia Filmed?

 

Chris

Chris is having the most beautifulest morning ever, he’s totally vibing day dozen of his time in the wilderness. This is great to watch honestly, he sounds like he does post fish. SBS – roll that B-roll montage!

(Seriously, they stacked a LOT of beautiful clips.)

‘It’s just me and this beautiful planet we live on.’ Ok, did Chris find magic mushrooms? He’s sounded stoked before but this is positively rapturous. So  why’s he saying ‘I wanna end it on my own terms?’ Wait, why’s he down by the water again?

 

 

According to my girlfriend, Chris’ speech sounded exactly like The Bachelor’s does before he goes into the rose ceremony and dumps a girl.

And god damnit, she was right. Chris has whipped out his satellite phone to tap out. She literally called that before me. Chris is not picking the girl (in this case, tempestuous Mummy Nature) and he’s going home.

 

 

You know what’s rad? Seeing him make this decision with clarity, in a good state of mind. 12 days is a long time and for someone like Chris, whose brain acts like a bucking bull, it probably felt like an eternity.

One of the things I love about Alone is that sure, people are in it to win it, but that can’t be your only reason. Money and ego isn’t enough to keep you out there, you’ve got to be willing to sit with yourself, to fight those demons, and meet the real you.

Chris sums it up damn beautifully:

‘I’ve won, I’ve won so much.’

I’m gonna miss you Chris, you scruffy wildcard of a man. Thanks for shining a light on the struggles of veterans and those with PTSD, and best of luck with your ongoing recovery mate.

Four left. Wipe the tears outta ya eyes. Emotions are over, it’s Mike time.

Mike

Oh my goodness Mike is looking grim.

How is his face looking so skull-like when he’s only lost half the weight he put on for the show? Must be malnutrition. Or demons? Probably malnutrition.

 

 

Despite not having eaten for 12 days, Mike is teaching us how to use the sun to tell the time. Dude, you know what time it is? Time to catch a fish.

It’s crazy to think that after eight days of tweaks Mike’s trap still hasn’t nabbed a pademelon. Maybe it’s time to go all in? Camp out near the trap in a homemade ghillie suit? Build a Trojan wallaby and present it as a gift?

Seriously though, how did that little roo skip over the tripwire? I would be so mad. What’s the solution? More tripwires? You can do this Mike! We are all rooting for you homie. Make a wooden gun!

 

***

 

Mike’s sitting on a clapped out camp chair, dreaming of party pies.

It was at this moment that I realised that Mike and I really aren’t so different.

Check out the chair though. That looks about as comfortable as the kayak…

Thankfully, Mike has decided to check whether his trap works, and he’s going to use his 4kg sleeping bag as a test pademelon.

4kg? That is a monstrous bag my guy. That explains how he’s been getting away with such a relatively simple shelter. Only Gina has built a house-like structure and that makes sense, she’s relying on possum fur power to keep warm without a sleeping bag.

Anyway, that trap test was so pleasing, by god I hope he gets it to work so he can make pademelon party pies.

 

Read more: Our First Reactions to the 41 Approved Gear Items for Alone Australia Contestants

 

***

 

It’s safe to say that Mike has achieved underdog status at this point, the dude can’t catch a break. A protected species (Tassie Devil) just came and set off his trap for fun and didn’t even get caught.

 

***

 

Another day another slay, but unfortunately Mike hasn’t managed to slay any animals, just outdoor fashion. Seriously, are those down pants? They look elite, perfect to starve in. Speaking of, did the contestants who got chunky before the show have to buy all new clothes? Damn.

 

 

Mike’s lost 11.7% of his bodyweight and he’s down to 91.7kg. To be honest, after reaching 20 days of complete starvation that’s not too shabby, though I wish the show had said if there’s a % of weight he can’t go under. At the moment it sounds like they just get extracted if their vitals are trending toward organ failure.

I don’t think the starvation contest approach will be a winner. But let’s go back to day 13 to see how the other players are coping.

Kate

Kate, your abode is gorgeous and you’re looking fresh.

Oh we’re doing MTV cribs Kate’s Shelter edition? I’m in, show us the nest!

Can we talk about that bed setup? Layers of wood, moss, reeds for insulation. Mwah, that looks better than my mattress, which was made in a factory (I assume, I found it kerbside baby).

Love the shoe rack! That’s a smart little addition to your makeshift home. Sorry about the lack of images by the way, dear reader, I couldn’t get a good screenshot. But I assure you that Kate’s home is domestic bliss.

Oh boy, she’s tying knots in a piece of string to remember what day it is? Ha ha, cool! (Are you ok dude?)

Nah, it’s safe to say that Kate is well-ok. Earlier on I thought she might be hiding her feelings a bit but honestly, you can’t fake that laugh. It’s pure joy.

As Kate trotted off to dig for worms (‘digging for worms, digging for worms, sing it with me!) I had to wonder if they were going to provide enough sustenance. Lol, they’re for fishing. In my defence, my partner thought worms were on the menu too!

How’s the shade from SBS when Kate holds up her haul of worm though? ‘This is the larvae of an insect,’ flashed across the screen. I think she knows guys, worms just sounds way better in a song ok.

 

Listen now: What Does it Take to be on Alone Australia? We Are Explorers Podcast Ep 2

***

 

Day 15! Man they’re moving a bit more quickly through the days now.

Oh damn it’s 8 degrees and raining. I love how Kate calls it eel fishing, she knows what she’s about. And just like that she’s caught one. How good! I’d love to know how much time the different contestants are spending fishing.

I did not realise it’d been a full 12 days since Kate caught that first eel. That’s immense, was she fishing every day? Sorry, ‘eel fishing’.

 

 

Did anyone else nearly have a heart attack when the eel slimed off the log? I thought for sure it was headed back to the lake. Nope, time to look at its guts instead.

SHE IS FRYING IT, THANK GOD!

I feel like a cheer went up around the country when we heard that eel number two wasn’t destined for stew. Sounds like it was absolutely delicious too.

But I’m sorry Kate, what is ‘salmon night’?

Just quietly, are eels actually a better catch? That thing was massive and apparently it was ten day’s worth of protein.

That being said, she still nearly vommed at the end there. It’s safe to say that vomiting up a fresh catch would be one of the worst things you could do, and no one’s done that with fish.

Remember when Duane ate his raw?

 

Michael

Uh oh, is Michael is doing a standup bit? Help.

14 days is a good crack though, especially because he hasn’t really eaten anything either.

In fact, apparently he is ‘Sur-thriving’. I laughed out loud at that. I want it on a mug.

Was Michael told to play up his religiosity or is this just who he is? I’m pretty sure I floated off the ground during that rendition of Amazing Grace: Hungry Edition. If he’d sung for just a little longer I might’ve made it to the pearly gates.

 

Does anyone else think it’s a bit strange he took until day 11 to begin the possum trap? I guess he might not have seen them before then but still. He mentions that catching cats was a possibility which did NOT go down well with my girlfriend. Anyway, just feels like it should have been higher priority?

We were on day 14 when we saw the trap earlier and then on day 18 Michael says ‘the trap is finished’. What? I don’t understand what took four days.

In the process of finishing the possum trap Michael pricks his knee with his saw and whips his pants off quick smart. He seems pretty worried, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was over dramatising this bit:

1. The cut seemed pretty small and if you have a first aid kit is it that big of a deal?
2. Couldn’t he have pulled his pants up, not down? Not that I’m personally opposed to more thigh a la Episode 5

Pray 4 Possums I guess!

Gina

I couldn’t help but giggle as Gina said ‘look at that beauty’ and the camera panned to a thick drowned forest. Like, kinda? It’s such an obviously altered place that it can take away from the viewing at times.

 

 

A lot of people are claiming (in the comments section) that the location being a dam means it’s devoid of life, but we’ve clearly seen otherwise. Also, platypus aren’t known for inhabiting places that aren’t in pretty pristine condition. I’m looking forward to seeing the location choice for season two, imagine if they have to deal with spiders and snakes?

Anyway back to Gina. Yeehaw gurl look at that hat! Today we’re looking for a young old fern (?) to eat the ‘bread’ inside. Sounds great, if it’s more edible than that soup you made last episode it’ll be choice (not hard).

 

 

Turns out Gina’s lost 9.3kg at weight check, while Mike has lost 12.15kg (I ran the numbers down at the Explorer Lab). Gina came in with nearly 30kg extra on board, compared to Mike’s 20, and it seems he might be burning it quicker. All this to say…

Let’s get this bread Gina! In as many ways as possible. Even bitter ferny bread that you boil, I guess.

How good is Gina’s leafy kingdom by the way? There’s something so homely about it.

We’re onto Day 20!

How about that! The series is about to enter its fourth week with four contestants still on the go. I think that’s bloody brilliant and if you don’t, see you on the show.

I almost had a heart attack seeing Gina standing near the water with an aesthetic background until I remembered that she’s definitely hanging around.

Weirdly, that shot of Gina biting into a ribcage in the intro is suspiciously missing from the latter episodes. Maybe they realised that it was a massive spoiler?

Gina’s also caught a Brown trout apparently almost immediately? Really seems like she should have done that earlier. I’m a big fan of Gina so I’m very pleased to see her bringing in some real food. Easy on the salt though dude!

 

 

Day 20, unfortunately, ends with a heartbreaking pivot back to Mike. The man’s back fishing with gusto and finally hooks an eel, but his snaggy-ass shoreline means he can’t get it in. I was legit screaming at him to just stomp on it, he even has it in his hands, but it wriggles free.

Surely he can make that kind of opportunity happen again. I don’t want to see Mike go just yet.

 

Next Week

A taste of next week showed Gina hauling in fish like Monty Burns, Michael finding wallaby prints, Mike still inexplicably struggling, and Kate getting fired up to go all the way. God it must be fun for them to watch it all back now, some more than others I reckon!

Let us know your thoughts in the comments, especially on Facebook, there’s been some great chat. Until next week!

 

Listen now: How to Survive a Tasmanian Winter – We Are Explorers Podcast Ep 3