Grab your blanket ‘cause it’s getting mighty chilly down in New Zealand. Four hopefuls have lasted 40 days in the wild but the weather oh she be a turnin’.

 

Want to know about the latest season of Alone? Check out our guide to Alone Australia Season 3 for everything you need to know!

 

Just when you thought it couldn’t get colder hey? This little corner of the South Island is looking chillier than your mother-in-law’s dinner table where you just dropped the F-bomb.

Speaking of, I can’t remember that much swearing in this season. Maybe they were told to tone it down because last season it was flippin’ crazy. Guess Andreas doesn’t play by the frikkin’ rules though.

Are you ready for taps? Pause for cheering.

I reckon we’ll get a few, unless episode 10 is just an eviction bonanza. Things are about to get a whole lot harder I reckon, take it away, start-of-show-quote:

‘Now is the winter of our discontent’, attributed to William Shakespeare.

But the character who says it is Richard III who opens the play with a soliloquy: ‘Now is the winter of our discontent / Made glorious summer by this sun of York’.

The ‘sun’ here is actually a pun on the ‘son’ who will bring calmer and more prosperous times (I was listening in year 11 English, Mr Hood).

Here however, it’s been cut – translation: bad, hard, cold, not good times ahead.

*Spoiler alert* Alone Australia Season 2 Episode 9 spoilers from here!

 

The South Island on a good day

Day 40 – 4 Remain

Tamika’s standing on a beach, talking about how the weather’s cracked and it’s freezing cold. Go figure.

 

Day 41

Krzysztof has woken up and it’s freezing, ice everywhere. I wonder what overnight temps are like?

Suzan has some berries (she’s back on the berries?) but admits it’s not much fuel.

 

Day 42

Tamika hasn’t caught trout in a while, reckons it’s the cold.

 

Day 43 – 10:27am

It’s 0 degrees and it’s snowing, but Andreas seems pretty chill about it. Swedish mode unlocked.

It just makes you think how tough it must have been for our ancestors to live in these conditions, even just a few hundred years ago. They were probably far tougher though (not a hard ask).

Speaking of toughness, they must be thinking about how long they can outlast each other now. Surely you wouldn’t be assuming everyone else is killing it?

 

We’re in Andreas’ world now

 

Andreas has gone two weeks without protein and he’s not even seeing the mice on the trail cam.

Instead, he has a big day ahead getting a different kind of prey. Tree fern fronds! They take FORTY FIVE minutes to get to, an utter slog through snowy, muddy forest. I’ll assume he didn’t fake that fall for the static camera either.

 

Andreas fell over in his world (he’s behind that log)

 

His whole fern harvest will yield a max of 100 calories. That definitely doesn’t offset a 90-minute return snow walk. According to Strava I burn more than that in half an hour of rehab exercises. Is the best strategy to simply cocoon?

I guess he’s just holding out until he can find some protein.

Krzysztof

Krzyzstof has the zoomies. He’s unpacking the big issues like how much quicker we can walk now compared to the past where humans were shorter. Is height the only variable? Back to the drawing board Krzysztof.

 

Like elf on the shelf but with a Polish man. Mężczyzna na półce!

 

Day 44

Krzysztof isn’t sleeping well, maybe his body is really under stress? Oh nup he reckons it’s ADHD which he’s had ritalin for in the past. It sounds like he’s not on it anymore because it just turned him into a ‘zombie’, so he’s out here rawdoggin’ the nature.

Apparently Krzysztof found traditional learning really difficult but thrives in practical settings – that explains his shelter looking like an actual house then.

He’s carving a sign for it that says ‘Fort Kickass’. Radical. Love this energy.

Day 46

We are HOOKIN’ through the days on this episode.

Tamika’s in front of her shelter and complaining about the cold, it’s been 15 days since she caught a trout now and she’s feeling spacey and faded.

It really makes you think about how dangerous this show is, they’re not just solo in the wild but they’re deprived of every basic comfort. It’s honestly surprising they don’t get hurt more often.

Back on the ledge, Tamika’s spotted a fish! Ooft it’s huge. Yes! No! I think it snapped her line. Damn, she’s having a full on meltdown after that and fair enough, the starvation must have come back in full force.

 

That feeling when no fishy

 

Day 47

It’s early in the morning a day later and we’re checking in on Suzan with lots and lots of establishing shots.

She’s pretty frustrated and impatient at this point. It’s only taken 47 days for her to get hangry, that’s pretty good. It takes me about three hours.

Despite multiple fishing lines and lure types, she hasn’t had a single bite from a fish. I would say that I haven’t seen her do so much active fishing, which seems to be key. Simply hanging a line there isn’t going to do much good.

Wait, why does she want to be there on day 80 specifically? I thought her goal was 100.

Anyway, maybe she will be! She’s checking out if the sedge grass, known as Wiwi to the Maori, has gone to seed and is ready to harvest?

‘Is she gonna make bread?’ asks Mary. Wouldn’t that be spectacular?

She’s gonna grind it, roast it, and make some kind of carbohydrate mix. From… not that many seeds. As has often been the case this season, it doesn’t look like that seed haul took very long to collect. Why not spend all day? Maybe she wanted to test if it worked.

Sadly, it’s kind of low-calorie. Lol, does anything have high calories in this place? It makes me feel bad for fuelling my weekend runs with pure maltodextrin mix.

What happened to Suzan’s dog rocks? Oh, she’s drawn them on rocks instead. 

It seems like going a bit crazy is an asset this season.

 

Day 50!

I did not expect to hit 50 days with four people remaining, that’s incredible given the conditions we’ve seen. Especially for people like Suzan and Krzysztof who haven’t had any protein, is a medical tap on the cards soon?

I’m genuinely shocked by how long humans can survive off of their body fat if they really want to.

It’s not without sacrifice though, Tamika reckons her mental state is really struggling for the first proper time on the show.

 

Yeah nah, dreams where all your loved ones are being killed ain’t normal

 

She speaks about how she used to have ‘shredder dreams’ that were horrifying experiences related to her trauma from being in the police force, both what she did and what she saw.

She said she hasn’t had one in ten years and had one last night that was particularly vivid. Turns out she reckons she has PTSD and never really clocked it. Woah. It’s ironic that it took 50 days alone to self-diagnose PTSD. That would be the cause of my PTSD.

 

Andreas

Andreas is off on a fishing trip that he reckons is the difference between him staying or leaving. I think that’s the first time he’s really mentioned leaving.

As WAE staffer Jack pointed out, the dude has barely sat still. Impatience could be his undoing, maybe he just needs to wait it out for a bit. Instead, he’s spotted trout spawning, which is really bad, as they won’t be interested in eating. Maybe they’ll be interested after doing the deed? Isn’t that normal?

Ah, 65% of trout die after spawning from the exertion, that’s mental! Maybe the ones who survive have a snack though, just saying.

Andreas has seen one of the dead fish across the river so he’s gonna cross a deep-ass freezing section in the nuddy from the waist down. Remember when I said this show is insanely dangerous? That.

 

I love how this was blurred for a bit and then suddenly wasn’t

 

Oh no wait he does have undies, they’re just up his butt. He would’ve died with his dignity intact if he’d crossed, which he’s sensibly pulled the pin on. On the way back he’s spotted a deer print! And deer poop.

Let’s go Andreas, let’s actually hunt!

It seems like no one has really tried that hard to hunt a deer. That’s probably not true but as Mary just said, maybe the footage was just super boring. I’d love to see someone at least spot a deer, are they really that hard to come by? Maybe we need an Alone Australia somewhere where there’s actually food – we’ve got a few kangaroos going around over here.

If Andreas does get a deer is it the perfect winning blow for Alone? Unless someone else matched that I reckon he’d be home sweet with a single kill.

 

Day 52

Krzysztof has got a headache from the sleep deprivation, his head’s spinning and he’s got vertigo. He is really not well right now. He’s posted up so nicely on his little shelf in a sturdy Mont sleeping bag, but fronds ain’t gonna do it, the man needs protein.

 

Day 53

Back to Tamika and excuse me but no one has tapped yet this episode with 12 minutes to go.

She’s feeling crap and is just sitting outside, not even bothered to head to the ledge. I’m half-ready for her to blow a raspberry. She’s now not eaten for 22 days and has been looking at the introduced Canadian geese nearby and thinking veeery seriously about shooting one.

They’re plump and hanging around just off the shore, but she’s not sure she can do it.

 

Good day to be a goose

 

This is an incredible amount of resolve to be honest, like, by all rights she’s completely justified to make this kill. They’re a pest, she’s starving herself, and she’ll eat the whole animal. Yet, after all that back and forth, she’s spiralling that making one kill will just mean she has to continue and then keep killing, and she can’t see the point.

Woah. She’s not going to do it. I’ve gotta say, I admire the way she’s stuck to her principles. Justice for trout though, they must be swimming around like ‘Bloop bloop, do I mean nothing to you?’

Unfortunately, she’s now sitting on the shore with her sat phone.

 

Ad Break

I’m buying a KIA.

 

Back to Tamika

She’s just tapped. Nooo! That was so unexpected only an episode ago.

Once she knew she couldn’t hunt the birbs she was mentally unable to continue. Not to mention her concerns about the safety of fishing on a sketchy ledge, which I think have been downplayed a bit here.

‘Killing’s not a part of me anymore.*’

I don’t know if it’s the SBS cinema cameras on the boat or something but she looks thinner here than in her own footage. I wonder how the others are really looking?

*If you have warm blood.

 

Andreas

And then there were three! Including Suzan hahaha – oh gurl if only you knew how close you were.

Not sure why Andreas has chosen a bright orange and black outfit to hunt deer instead of his camo. His decision making is wild at the moment.

 

If you look very carefully you can see Andreas

 

Krzysztof

He’s out of bed, the headache’s over but the vertigo’s still there. He’s medically tapping himself I reckon. Sat phone’s out.

‘I’m officially… ordering a pizza.’ Ahaha dude are you serious? I wondered why he said ‘it’s ringing’ but I couldn’t hear it ringing like normal.

That’s so funny, what a mad dog. I so badly want him to catch a single fish just because he’s able to starve for 50+ days and still bring the banter.

 

‘And you thought I was gonna tap’ was such a flex

 

Suzan

Suzan just said she feels well, and strong. Are you kidding me right now?

We finally see the famous fire scene from the intro. There’s little context, simply that she wanted a beautiful fire on the beach. It’s the little things hey?

 

I’m giving Gina vibes

 

Final Ep Up Next

We’re deep in the game now. Andreas is keen to keep going but he’s starting to feel a bit unstable. Suzan is locking in, she knows that surely only a few other contestants are in and she won’t have long to go, above all she hasn’t forgotten that it is indeed a game. Focusing on beating the others must be motivating her.

Krzysztof isn’t feeling well at all, he’s having a chunder. We’ve seen that someone gets medically tapped but we’re not 100% sure it’s him, as all three faces are shown on a boat in this order.

Krzysztof looks a little sad.

Suzan looks almost happy, and stoic.

Andreas looks like he’s smiling, but stern.

Based on that alone, I’d say that Suzan pulls off the win. Without that preview, I’d have been putting my money on Andreas. But that’s the thing with Alone. What’s good on paper isn’t always what’s good out there.

What do you reckon? Anything I missed or cheeky insights into who’s going to take it home? Let us know in the comments and we’ll catch you next week for the finale, where I guess I’ll recap the reunion too as it plays directly after.

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