Tim’s watched the latest episode of Alone Australia Season 2 and transcribed his stream of consciousness to the page. Like Gogglebox for intellectuals! Let’s tuck in.

 

*Spoiler alert* Alone Australia Season 2 Episode 4 spoilers from here!

 

Want to know about the latest season of Alone? Check out our guide to Alone Australia Season 3 for everything you need to know!

Well, I nearly started this recap with ‘We’re getting to the pointy end’ but we’re not are we? In fact, we’re kind of just getting started. With eight people left and over a week in the bag it’s almost anyone’s game, but a few of the crew are looking decidedly shaky.

We left with Jack, Jason, and Suzan all struggling at the end of their introductory episode, and the extraction team was on its way. Someone was going home, but who?

Before we tuck in, a moment for the quote this week:

‘Life is a circle, the end of one journey is the beginning of the next.’ – Joseph M. Marshall III

I was surprised to find out that Mr Marshall the Third is actually Sicangu Oyate, and grew up on the Rosebud Indian Reservation in South Dakota (this recap is just a collab between me and Wikipedia).

The circle of life is a common theme in Native American culture, but what the heck does it have to do with this episode of Alone?

Read more: Alone Australia Season 2 – Everything You Need to Know

 

Here we freakin’ go

Extraction Team

Oh shit, it was Jason. Hahaha credit to SBS, they really don’t muck around with delivering once they’ve set up a cliffhanger. Also…

I KNEW IT. I called it at the end of last recap. Despite Suzan’s poopy drama and Jack’s bites, Jason already had that resigned look on his face, he’d given up.

 

Aww

 

I would be too if I lost 11kg in eight days, that’s phenomenal. It’s interesting because his body was clearly going through ketosis alright, but it was also throwing every warning light on the dash.

I’ll miss you Jason. We never really got to know you, never found out how you built your sand fly-infested shelter, or why you appear to be wearing a $400 Coogi jumper.*

I reckon a week is a pretty respectable achievement though. I’ve done a few hikes that long and it’s a LONG time to be out in the wild. Doing it Alone and starving takes guts. If my health started going I’d be out of there too. Kudos Jason.

*Spotted by my partner Mary, apparently it’s a Kath & Kim thing.

 

Cya mate

Rick

Rick’s 42km away, man this is a big environment. Like that’s not a quick journey by boat to get to different contestants. I wonder if they have a few boats stationed around the place?

Rick’s looking for worms and getting some help from a Kakaruai, the South Island robin, hope they started early. And, I’m sorry, but are the sand flies getting worse? I can barely see past them in some of the shots.

Rick is so hardcore, the way he’s just starving on purpose for eight days. I reckon doing it on purpose would give you mental strength though, rather than feeling like a failure who can’t find food.

Still, I’d say he was spewing about catching that eel. I love how they live for 100 years and only breed once, like ‘I’m just here to fuck up your fishing for eternity mate’.

Sometimes watching Alone is kind of like watching the worst fishing show ever.

Ok this is so pure, Rick is running to his tripod-mounted film camera to film a fish catch. What does that mean? That he backs his ability to bring it in? That he’s not that stressed about losing it or not?

Why does this feel so much less chaotic than the fishing in Season 1 where people would always just lose their fish immediately and you’d be screaming at the telly.

 

Did he just…? Yep, kissed the fish. Fair enough

 

Now we’re just hanging out with Rick while he eats fish at his campfire. Honestly, I love Rick. It’s just like hanging out with your fave grandpa.

‘That fire looks snuggly’ says Mary. I’m sure Rick feels the same way.

And just to top it off, he’s said ‘Looking forward to a good night’s sleep’, and thrown us a shaka. Hell yeah, tubular dude.

Suzan

That kind of sounded like a satisfied yawn from the shelter, maybe she’s ok?

Omg, I thought she’d tapped because I forgot she was talking about a dream she’d had.

Imagine that, then you wake up and you’re in the bush having diarrhoea, lol.

 

Looks accurate to how it probably feels

 

One of the reasons I’ve been backing Suzan as a hot contender is that I reckon she’s inherently tough, and this dialogue really puts that on display. Most people’s self talk spirals downwards but Suzan puts a stop to it, not in the least thanks to tips from her partner Jon Muir.

‘Don’t let those voices of hopelessness run the show, stay with the voice that keeps on trying.’

Oof, how powerful is that? Even so, she’s looking mighty tippy tappy right now.

Yet she’s held down a vom with the thought of ‘clean crisp celery’. Suzan’s not done yet.

Chace

Chace hasn’t moved his fire pit from where we first saw it, in a wet uncleared area away from his shelter, but maybe I’m missing something.

He’s also eating ferns again, which isn’t really inspiring from the self-declared ace hunter. I’m just not convinced the Vitamin A and C from eating that is worth the effort.

 

Sorta does look good though. Like a pot of loose leaf tea

 

Despite all the Chace airtime so far, we’re getting new background information. Is that his wife or a sister?

Oh, it’s his partner, and W O A H he found out she was pregnant just before he got accepted to the show. At the time of filming she’d be nine weeks pregnant.

Ok that is a huge bombshell. I would LOVE to run a poll on this to see what people think. I’m sure some will think he surely should be staying with his wife right now, whilst others might see the once-in-a-lifetime value of going on a show like Alone as too good to pass up.

No comment from me! But I’m sure Chace would be racked with guilt regardless.

Ad Break

Just saw an ad for Alone Australia, might check it out.

Day 10

Haha Tamika is fkn freezin, the poor Queenslander. I went to Brisbane last weekend and the sun was so spicy, I don’t know how you guys cope up there.

 

But this is also Queenslanders when it hits 18 degrees

 

I love what she’s doing with this hearth-chimney situation, if it works it’ll be almost a constant source of warmth and easy to relight.

Why not seal the rest of the shelter a bit more though? Surely the wind whips though that thing.

 

Yeah, not Crimsafe at all

 

Looks like a storm is coming and that’s exactly what she’s doing. Tamika you are thinking gurl.

Obviously they could just be choosing footage, I’m sure everyone saw the storm coming and built up their shelter a little bit, but Tamika turned hers into a literal gingerbread house.

Getting serious for a second, Tamika’s period has come back sooner than it should have, which isn’t a great sign for her general health, nor is it a particularly good use of calories. Not to mention the risks.

Jack

Welcome to the pants life Jack, good to see!

Setting up a trailcam sounds like a great idea too, I’m surprised no one has utilised that yet,

As we saunter through the forest I can’t help but thinking that the B-roll footage is getting more noticeable, I think the videographers are trying too hard.

 

Like… okayyy

 

Oh shit, Jack’s spotted a deer after tracking fresh scats. And he’s in a pretty damn scenic open fern forest.

Alas, it was just brown leaves. Man, I really wanna see a bow shot!

‘They’re all a bit devo this episode’, says Mary.

 

Gutted, absolutely gutted

Chace

Chace is carving his tenth day into a log and he has another one-liner for us.

‘It feels like I kinda ran away from that problem.’

Hmm, I’m not sure if your future child counts as a problem man.

But maybe it’s a problem that you’re here and also not catching any deer?

Ahh Chace is tapping. One journey ends and another begins. Remember the quote from the start of the ep?

IT’S THE CIIIRCLE OF LIIIFE

 

Chace is outta the race

 

Mary called him ‘The Mansplainer’ and he had some strange turns of phrase, but I kinda had a soft spot for him. Things changed pretty majorly once I found out his wife was pregnant. I guess despite how feasible going on the show anyway looked on paper, the reality might only really hit you once you’re there.

We are down to six contestants. Hoo ha.

Suzan

Suzan’s back on her feet! Kinda!

I love how she’s still just drinking creek water on a dodgy stomach.

I also love how the on screen text is often such a sassy bitch and just highlighted how drinking unboiled water could make her more sick.

Suzan is wrecked to be honest. She’s just walking around with this big stick and wondering what to do. I doubt I’d feel any better without Hydralyte to be honest. Sometimes I have them to get through a tough day at the home office.

Andreas

Haha why do we sometimes get a decimal point on the distance between people but other times not. Rick was 42km away but Andreas was 45.1km away. Important.

Yum, ducks! Oh, he can’t eat them. Jesus, what can you eat? They do look really pretty, to be fair.

If you’re reading this while watching along, look how tight his camo pants are. Damn boi, putting the camp in camp pants.

 

I mean, what pants? Hahah

 

After a bit of a fuss, Andreas has built a really decent looking shelter. Sturdy with a bit of height, he’s even cleared the immediate area a little bit, which warms my Boy Scout heart.

He’s going to have to build in a bit more protection from wind and rain though.

Tamika

Tamika’s pretty chunky right now. She must have eaten a lot of vegetarian food to stack on the weight. They’re going on about her being vegetarian again and it’s starting to feel like they told her to ham it up. Like, I get it, but you’re not on this show by accident.

She’s looking for the edible mamaku heart from the Black tree fern. Apparently eating this kills the tree, so the Māori only use it when food is scarce. Tamika’s found a fallen tree, so she doesn’t even have to kill that!

 

It’s no Red Rock Deli but it’ll do

 

Unfortunately, 20 calories per 100g is absolutely shit. You’d have to eat a kilo just to hit 10% of our normal daily intake. At least it tastes good right?

‘It’s like uncooked sweet potato with a hint of burnt carrot.’ Oh man.

Must feel nice in the tum though. Wonder if she can find some crisp celery?

Andreas

Do we feel like Andreas is nowhere near the lake or the sandflies? I feel like everyone wanted to stay close to the beauty and openness of the lake, but maybe going deeper into the forest is a bit safer? It’d definitely be better for hunting.

Why oh why did he set the trail camera 45 minutes away from his shelter though?

It’s worked, Andreas has filmed a huge deer.

 

Oh deery me, count your days mate

 

And now he can hear it barking (‘Deer bark?’ asks my friend Alice) and warning other deer that something isn’t right.

I feel like Andreas just has to sit still and hope it comes his way. Follow me for more hunting tips.

Guess we’ll have to wait for next week to find out what happens!

And find out whatever Krzysztof is up to after two episodes.

Next Week

Jack is looking weak and Tamika says ‘I’ve been feeling this decision coming for a few days’, whilst looking very thin. That seems like a huge reveal? Guess we’ll have to wait.

Overall the hunters Andreas and Jack are looking strong, going around whispering and shit.

Hopefully, as they learn the land we see some more action. To be honest, Chace going like that caught me off guard.

Suzan has shown a lot of toughness but really needs some food, as does Tamika, no idea what Krzysztof is up to, and Rick is being a bit of a dark horse. Big fish, small worries.

What did you think? Do you have an answer for my poll? Hit us up in the comments, this season’s shaping up to be a cracker!

Alone Australia Recaps So Far

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