How Becoming a Parent Changed My Perspective of Risk

Inspiration Journal

Was I Really That Risky? How Becoming a Parent Changed My Perspective of Risk

Josh doesn’t consider himself a risky person. He’s still here, after all. But with life changes and different priorities, what he considers as acceptable risk on an adventure is a lot different to when he was a young pup.

I’m standing at the bottom of an asphalt pump track looking up at my two-and-a-half-year-old son, as he rolls slowly along the top of the corner. I’m slightly cringing because I know what may happen, but he’s all smiles so I let him go anyway. He’s like a hawk, circling its prey, waiting for the perfect time to swoop in. But unlike a hawk, he’s easily distracted, and today this will be his undoing.

I’m not sure what caught his attention, but as he turns his head his handlebars follow and soon he’s sliding on his side down the face of the track. In slow-mo I see his eyes fill with tears and the blood start to flow from his delicate little hands.

It’s a track he’s ridden a bunch of times before, with ease. Today, however, it ended in tears.

But it’s also been a valuable lesson for him. A lesson that’ll form how he approaches and manages risk in the future.

A Painful Mistake to Learn From

Those that know me would probably say I’m over-careful. That I make sure all the variables are controlled so I come back from adventures in one piece. But this is something that’s come from years of experience and, unfortunately, getting things wrong and learning the hard way.

Not to mention, my recent entry into parenthood has dramatically changed how I view risk.

I grew up in a coastal suburb of Adelaide, which meant a lot of time spent outside. The safety basics were always ingrained in us as kids. Go out with a mate, tell someone what you’re doing, and where you’re doing it. And for those that know metro Adelaide, it’s a pretty mellow place, so we were always on the lookout for something more exciting.

The natural progression as an adrenaline-loving teenager was to get into action sports. As teenagers do, a few mates and I decided to build our own bike jumps on a vacant block of land. It was out of sight from the general public, so we could build the jumps quite big without the worry of people trying to knock them over.

I’ve always been a pretty confident bike rider, so I opted to hit the line of jumps first, happy to test them out on behalf of my mates.

Little did I know, a lot goes into the geometry of how jumps are built, so that you go up and then down smoothly. As I gathered speed approaching the first jump I briefly thought to myself that maybe a slow speed check would’ve been a good starter. But it was too late.

As I went into the air I knew things were about to go horribly wrong. As gravity took hold, I went head first over the bars landing perfectly on my head on the take-off ramp for the next jump. My neck compressed like a spring – picture Wile E. Coyote falling off a cliff in The Road Runner Show.

All I remember is a crunch, followed by the lights going out. As I came to with my mates looking over me, I felt a rush of shooting pain in my neck and upper back. As I slowly got to my feet, I knew I’d done something serious. But because we’d failed to tell anyone where we were and we didn’t have mobile phones, I had to ride home to tell my folks about my afternoon outing.

By the time I got home, my back and neck had turned black with bruising and I could barely move or talk due to the pain.

Fast forward two months past hospital visits, X-rays, and warnings that I was very close to doing major damage, and I was sitting on the beach watching my mates windsurf in epic summer conditions as I took the summer off to heal. It gave me plenty of time to think.

Age Doesn’t Equal Experience

The older you get, the wiser you become, right? In a lot of circumstances this is true, but it’s not always a given. Just because you might be experienced in something, through years of doing it, doesn’t mean that knowledge is fully transferable to every activity or pursuit.

I definitely take previous experience with me when I try something new, but I’m always open to adapting this knowledge wherever I can.

Mishaps or Injuries

The arch nemesis of any outdoor-loving person. Injuries are like that angel on your shoulder telling you to tone it down, take the easy line, and play it safe. I’m not saying we should all listen to the devil on the other shoulder, but we all need a bit of thrill in our lives. It’s about finding the balance.

I’ve had my fair share of injuries, some that I still carry impacts of today, but instead of letting them sideline me, I use them to help me play with both the devil and angel.

I steer away from full-blown devilish activities that I know will likely end in tears, like downhill mountain biking. But I’m also not content with taking the fully sealed pathway that the angel might opt for.

Instead, I meet in the middle on flow trails, where I can still get a bit of a rush but in a much more controlled environment. I find an approach like this still lets me use the years of experience I’ve gained, but keeps me mostly free from more injury.

Lifestyle Changes

For me becoming a parent has been the biggest factor affecting my risk management.

Now I put my wife and son in the picture when I evaluate the risk vs reward of something I’m doing alone. Instead of totally flogging myself on a monster trail run, knowing full well I’ll be couch-bound for the remainder of the day, I take an easier pace, still enjoy the run, but leave enough energy to take my son for an arvo walk or bike ride.

The other part is how I explore when I have my son in tow.

If I was to go on a trail alone I’d hit it with the bare minimum, not taking much with me but a small bottle of water. But when I have my son with me, I account for a lot more potential situations.

If it’s hot and the track is exposed and remote, I take more water, the kid carrier in case he runs out of steam and needs a lift, a basic first aid kit, and my phone in case of an emergency. Oh, and snacks. Lots of snacks.

Read more: Remember to Leave No Trace

Facing Past Traumas

I was recently flicking through Facebook Marketplace and came across the same bike that I had my mega stack on nearly 25 years ago. The sight of it scared the shit out of me, but I knew it could turn it into a superpower. So I bought it.

It’s now the bike I ride when I’m showing my son the ropes of how to hit jumps safely.

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It’s no longer a piece of history that brings back bad memories, but more so a constant reminder that if you manage yourself properly, being outside and living an adventurous life is the best thing ever.

The next time my son and I were back at the same pump track he’d come a blunder at, he was slower and staying away from the top of the corner. We both had more time to sit and think, to assess where he’d gone wrong and contemplate the risk, and what makes us change how we think about it.

When Adventure and Parenting Collide

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