Our Gear Editor wanted to see if Artificial Intelligence could create the ultimate hiking kit, so he asked it to create images of hiking gear from text. The results are both hilarious and horrifying.

 

What does the image generator Dall-E know about hiking? 

It’s never been for a hike. Never got a blister. Never felt the crushing weight of a 20kg pack or winced from bruised shoulder blades when that pack is hoisted back on the following day. 

What it does know comes from scraping the internet and over 12 million images. 

It knows hikers have a penchant for carrying foam mats. It knows that sporks — or something eerily similar — are an essential piece of kit. And that hiking food is generally garbage. Not bad so far. 

It doesn’t know what ankle gaiters look like. Seriously, not at all. And don’t even try to explain what a ‘poo kit’ is. 

Oh yeah, and it also thinks hikers are demonically depressed creatures.

 

 

Using the items and text from our own Overnight Hiking Packing List and adding ‘white background’ to the simple prompt, here’s what we get. 

Let’s just say you don’t want to run into any of its creations on an overnight hike.



 

Let’s begin with a simple ‘Complete Hiking Packing List on a white background’.

I love Hing Paking

Or, is it Hilk Ping that I love?

Clothing and Footwear

 

Who said hiking shoes had to be ugly? Accessorise with Christmas-themed mashed snakes for laces

 

 

Woollen socks are hard to mess up. Somehow these still look like they need a wash

 

 

Pockets for snacks. Thanks, Dall-E

 

 

 

So other people you cross on the trail know you’re also a Hiikg-er

 

 

An attractive rain jacket. Not sure what the waterproof rating is

 

 

 

A ‘hiking hat and insect repellant’ to prevent that abomination of a mosquito from getting too close

 

 

An ‘ankle gaiter’? I think…

Storage and Safety Equipment

 

A durable hiking pack with multiple attachment points that don’t attach at the other end is essential

 

 

A reliable set of mismatched telescopic poles

 

 

A map devoid of information and a compass with no bearings

 

 

A head torch for a cyclops

 

 

Your new PLB

 

 

A lightweight and well-labelled Arst Ald kit, or failing that, something to administer Past Fard with

 

 

Safety Past

 

 

This is a poo kit. It does not come with instructions, sorry

Sleep System

 

I’ve actually seen worse tents. Nice work Dall-E. Just BYO fly. And don’t expect to be able to close that giant hole at the entrance

 

 

Sweet dreams human

Camp Kitchen

 

A decent range of pots and pans with some extra metal for good measure

 

This is a ‘hiking cutlery set’ in case you’ve never seen one before. Don’t ask me what that yellow thing is, how you interchange the blades, or why the spoon looks like that

 

Dall-E put the kettle on

 

 

A pot with a hole in the bottom. Sure, why not

 

 

The most normal-looking camping stove. Not sure what the cross-bracing is about. Maybe it helps with wind?

Because camping stoves aren’t sharp enough

Dinner’s ready!

 

I’d actually pay Dall-E to make my trail mix. Maybe skip the green mash though

Want Some Friends to Join You?

 

Choose your hiker…

 

 

We’ve all been here on a hike

 

 

So close

 

 

I think she’s wearing the New Salomon XT-6’s

 

 

Hiking is fun for the whole fam!

 

What have I done…

 

While AI may be taking all of our jobs in the near future, at least it won’t take our hiking trails. And maybe, when we’re all unemployed we’ll have more time for them. Just don’t let Dall-E pack your meals… or anything else for that matter.