My Meltdown at Taranaki Falls: A Journey Through Heartbreak, One Hike at a Time

After her tumultuous break-up, Adele felt shattered. It wasn’t until her Mum’s impromptu visit that she embarked on a final adventure around New Zealand’s North Island, which would ultimately help piece her and her adventurous spirit back together.

I was at a friend’s bachelorette party, in the middle of a rather questionable workshop involving pink and sparkly silicone toys, when I received a WhatsApp from my mum telling me she’d booked a flight to Auckland. With the toy in one hand and my phone in the other, I held back tears of relief.

A Hectic Break Up

Although my relationship had ended a couple of months before, I’d been unable to gather the courage to pack up my bags and head home to France. My once bubbly, free-spirited, and adventurous nature had turned to mush. I became fully disconnected from myself, grieving the loss of the relationship.

I’d moved to New Zealand 3.5 years prior from London – swapping weekend benders for camping trips, Chelsea boots for trail shoes or bare feet, and tube commutes for a run-down 1989 Isuzu Fargo van. That van – nicknamed Roger – took me on microadventures all over the North Island.

Being outdoors became a huge source of joy in my life. It was pedal to the metal every other weekend to a new destination. I’d get all too excited about the supermarket stop to get the goods – canned tuna and oats, what else?

We’d often arrive at a near empty campground, just in time to kick back and watch the sunset sky with a tinny. With no schedule in sight but morning dips, afternoon hikes, and gourmet tuna meals, microadventures felt liberating and good for the soul. I discovered every nook and cranny of the North Island I could.

The Road Trip Featuring My Mother

Fast forward a few years – the break-up. This one had been quite the rollercoaster and the toughest separation I’d been through. I thought I was keeping it together just fine until Mum came waltzing through the door. She dropped her bags down, came in for a hug, and I burst into tears.

My mum reminds me of Dory from Finding Nemo, eternally optimistic with a terrible memory.

Though she was clearly there to scoop me up and fly me home, I wasn’t quite ready to close this chapter. The only adventures I’d been on recently had been to the supermarket and back, hiking between the chocolate and wine aisles, and swimming in the ocean of my own tears. Dramatic? Maybe. Accurate? Unfortunately.

I couldn’t leave on this note and so we embarked on a last hoorah – a final Kiwi adventure. I grabbed the keys and with a vague itinerary, we hit the road. Admittedly, I wasn’t too chatty on the journey, but luckily this wasn’t a problem as Mum had lots to say.

Our first stop was Whale Bay on the Tutukaka Coast, a personal favourite. With no one in sight, we walked down to the secluded crescent-shaped bay. I sat down and stared blankly out ahead of me.

We drove along winding roads, towards the Bay of Islands, with a pit-stop at Helena Bay Cafe, a rather peculiar find nestled amongst native bush. I strolled through the walkways of their outdoor garden, meandering around the giant chess pieces and sculptures – it felt other-worldly.

My mind blissfully drifted away until my bladder subtly reminded me this wasn’t a fantasy world; this was just a loo break.

We spent time in the Russell Peninsula, watching the waves at Elliot Bay on the Pacific Ocean side, napping like seals at Oke Bay, and strolling around Russell.

We spent evenings playing card games and having heart-to-hearts, Mum continuously refilling my glass of wine as I’d chew her ear off on the same topic.

Hiking My Way Through Heartbreak

After some lazing around, we embarked on a hike (the first of many) up to Ohakiri Pa/St Paul’s Rock in Whangaroa. I assured Mum this would be a ‘short’ one – technically true. She didn’t ask about topography, so I left that detail out. Family hikes were not a thing growing up, so safe to say this was a new mother-daughter bonding experience.

I spent much of the hike in my head, my mind drifting away into nostalgic thoughts, replaying every single conversation and argument my ex and I had, holding back tears. This ending truly felt like the ground had been swept out from under me – he was my anchor.

After a few insults hurled at me during the final steep section of the hike, scrambling up via chains and footholds, we made it to the top. I gave Mum a high five and we sat side-by-side in silence looking at the outstanding views of the harbour.

Explorers Cry Too (a Lot)

Mum continued to humour me as I took her on multiple ‘short hikes’ throughout Northland, cursing me along the way whilst sprinkling in plenty of ‘I must really love you’.

Day by day, I noticed it became slightly easier to put my sneakers and backpack on, and step outside in whatever state I found myself in. If there was a hill to climb, a body of water to swim in, or a sunset to see, I showed up.

I wouldn’t say I rocked the typical ‘Explorer’ look – but rather the ‘sad girl hike’ look. With a messy bun, puffed-up eyes, and a frown, glued to my phone awaiting a text I’d never receive, I’d step outside, and that’s all that mattered at that point.

One Foot in Front of the Other

Our journey took us south near Lake Taupō. On our umpteenth hike, up Mount Tauhara, I was less caught up in my spiralling thoughts, instead feeling the breeze caressing my cheeks and the ground underneath my muddy trainers.

After this deeply philosophical check-in, I continued repeating to my dear Mum, ‘We’re nearly there’, not knowing at all when this hike would ever end. We eventually made it to the top, like we always did.

The Final Meltdown

Our final stop was Ruapehu. Though I’d been feeling a bit more myself lately, I’d had a sleepless night as the day to board my flight home was nearing. I put on my ‘sad girl hike’ look and we headed off.

We walked towards Mount Tongariro through changing landscapes – volcano views, native forest, tussock grass, cascading waterfalls, until we reached Taranaki Falls.

And then it happened – THE final meltdown. I sat down, put my head in my hands, and just sobbed, more than I’d ever sobbed on this journey. Safe to say, healing isn’t always linear. Meanwhile Mum, giving me some space to just let it out, candidly captured this rather vulnerable moment – a questionable move.

I glanced up and felt like the waterfall was oddly mocking me. I wiped my tears away and was reminded that – just as the water flows forward, so does life.

Moving Forward

It was eventually time to go home. I can’t say it was easy boarding that flight and closing our chapter, but I did. Just as I did on our many hikes, I got onto that plane, one foot in front of the next. My time spent gallivanting around the North Island with Mum helped remind me I was, and am, capable of standing on my own two feet.

Last but not least, to Mum, an absolute legend. There’s no one else I’d rather have beside me during this closing chapter to remind me to just keep swimming.

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