Alone Australia Season 3 Episode 9 Recap – Bush Enemas For All

Find out just how wrong Tim’s predictions were as he rapidly brings you up to date on how the final four are faring in Fasmania.

It is I, Icarus! Here to reap what I have sown, in the form of predictions about a show famous for misleading viewers.

I won’t fuss too much with the preamble, I’m writing this on Friday afternoon and you probably need to jet soon to down happy hour margs with colleagues / hit the road for a rainy multi-day hike / rot (circle applicable answer).

We’re about 40 days in, it’s so cold that the lake freezes sometimes and it’s raining so much the lake is also rising. Yeesh.

The final four, Tom, Corinne, Shay, and Muzza are tough. They’ve all caught protein, solved problems, and gone a little bit kooky, but with precious few stores of body fat to rely on, it’s how they keep on keeping on that’ll make someone flush with cash. 

Read more: Alone Australia Season 3 – Everything You Need to Know

Muzza

Let’s start with the big dawg. When we left him he was sitting on the beach, and had noticed the med team coming. Not good, considering his ankle looked like a beach ball.

But when he whips his boot off, it’s gone down a bunch. Despite a bit of a scare about septic arthritis, the good doctor has let him continue!

I was trying to screenshot his cheeky smile but this is a funnier representation of being allowed to continue

That was a close one; a more cautious approach would have definitely sent him packing. Honestly, that would have been a crying shame.

Later in the episode, it’s clear that Muzza is walking with much less severe pain, which is bloody good because the water is lapping at his door.

‘We’re losing real estate’, he keeps saying, and he doesn’t seem confident that there’s a good place for the shelter further inland. Whatever the case, he’s going to have to move and the preview of next ep shows exactly that.

I just want to take a moment for the shot of Muzza drinking directly from the lake, from the lake’s point of view. Quentin (Tarantino not the quoll) would be damn proud of that, it was weird, intimate.

Wait, who’s Quentin?

Quorinne’s quoll of quorse! Seriously though, has an Alone contestant ever had a pet before? Because the quoll that Corinne isn’t allowed to kill, and has NAMED, is coming damn close.

I’m in a group chat with my mates about Alone Australia and we unanimously decided that Quentin is now a wildcard contestant. May the odds ever be in his favour.

Quollity quontent (not sorry!!!)

Corinne

Apart from pets, Corinne seems to be doing pretty well. She’s got a stonker of a fireplace, she’s meditating, she’s cooking up meals with heaps of greens and pademelon meat. She even managed to cook fiddleheads without chucking up her guts like two other contestants.

Corinne’s spent ten years in Tassie and loves foraging, which is probably an underrated skillset given, y’know, the location.

As we’ve seen with Muzza too, greens are important and going full carnivore can exacerbate certain issues. But Corinne is getting Cor-thinn, and she will need to get some more protein in.

Corinne ft. feelings and sunset. Not bad

Corinne’s storyline got kind of boring at this point. I think she was just vibing out in the bush and eating greens, so there wasn’t much to say.

Instead, she worried about not getting her period, which is fair but also not that surprising given the starvation, and delved into some existential questions about having children.

There’s just so much time for thinking out here.

Tom

Tom’s eaten the least of the final four, with only three fish in 41 days.

Now he’s spotted a pademelon, which would be a boon if he could live ambush it, but can he? Having a head torch to spotlight wild animals feels a little bit like cheating in this ‘survival situation’. But I’ll give it a pass because golly, I like seeing people have a feed.

Unfortunately, it’s not to be and Tom is going hungry again.

I’m worried about how cold his nubbins are getting. That’s the name for his underdeveloped fingers, which, we just found out, still have the same nerves and feeling as regular fingers. His prosthetic is sucking the heat out of them and he’s potentially getting frostbite.

Not. Good. Can we ship him out a heated one? That seems like an unfair disadvantage.

On the plus side, my prediction about Tom’s site flooding is looking like it’ll be proven wrong. I didn’t realise how close Muzza was to the water, and it looks like Shay’s site gets spongy as.

Tom actually pulls in a small fish near the end of the ep, and he’s soooo stoked about it

Shay

Speaking of Shay, can someone ship the man some Metamucil? Two weeks is altogether too long to hold onto a shit for. I hate to think how that’s gonna feel on the way out.

Shay discusses doing a bush enema with a beer bottle he’s found. I know it’s already been filmed and the contestants are home safe, but I cannot stress enough how I still felt the need to tell Shay out loud: DO NOT DO A BUSH ENEMA.

*constipated silence*

He’s worried about being pulled off the show as the Blocked Colon Guy, but that’s still better than being the Infected Butthole Guy.

Apart from that, Shay’s doing well. His trap montage was pretty sad, he can’t seem to get the trigger right despite attracting prey, but he’s (stressfully) caught a huge fish to end the ep.

Next Week

No one’s gone home again! We’ve got three episodes left and I’m not sure if time is going to rapidly speed up like in season one, or if it’s all going to fall apart in a week.

Corinne seems pretty happy, and almost confident that the storm will send some people home. She’s also got a pretty dry looking shelter location.

Muzza’s walking again, but moving his shelter is a huge stress, while Tom is fighting frostbite and a muddy campsite.

Shay too is fighting mud, but seems pretty ready to suffer.

What do you reckon? Anything I missed or hints about who has it in the bag?

Catch Up on the Latest Alone Australia Eps!

• Alone Australia Season 3 Updated Winner Predictions
• Alone Australia Season 3 – Episode 6 Recap – Ice Ice Baby
• Alone Australia Season 3 – Episode 5 Recap
• Alone Australia Season 3 Predictions – Ep 1 & 2