Alone Australia Recap – Episode 8 – A New Smeagol Crowned!

The Intro Changed Again!

It’s so sneaky but again SBS is tweaking the intro just slightly, giving hints of what’s to come. I almost tuned out but who could miss those carcasses hanging up to dry? Someone is getting bulk meat, it looks like Mike’s trap possibly got a marsupial, and Michael’s mate upstairs dropped a branch at him. Hints out the wazoo.

Also, this episode chopped and changed between contestants like crazy, so I’ve changed up the structure to be more chronological, hope you dig it!

Kate

We’ve hit day 21 baby! Can you feel that sun on Kate’s face? I feel like the recent cold snap across the East Coast of Aus is giving us all a taste of the kind of cold the Aloners are battling with. But how many of us can say 8 degree temps mean it’s time for a nudie swim? I guess you have to forgive Kate, she lives in Canberra.

It’s cool to see Kate talking about her difficulties – she’s seemed pretty damn chipper most of the time! Was that a shot of her on the way to dunny though, trowel in hand? Tell us about the Kate scats, do you even poo if you’re not eating? I have so many questions.

Mike

Mikey is looking pretty wasted. Losing 14kg in three weeks will do that to ya. We haven’t been given any kind of % weight loss cutoff that’ll mean you’re extracted, just a medical opinion that it’s unsafe for you to continue. That feels a little subjective, but I guess a lot of factors go into it. He’ll have to eat bloody soon!

Ooft, this was a low moment for Mike

Ayeee Mike’s down to undies for the kayak. With gumboots on, it’s a lewk. I’m pretty ready to see the man catch a fish and I’m glad the kayak’s getting another burn! Please auction that thing off for charity.

I actually read in the comments on Mike’s (really great) recap videos that he had fishing lines in every day, whenever he was at camp. The edit doesn’t show it (and admittedly it’d be hard to show) but Mike was straight hustlin’ and the kayak actually does make a lot of sense when his lines were giving him nothing. If anyone else landed on such a fishless wasteland they’d be screwed.

But I’ll be damned if Mike isn’t starting to give Ol’ Gil vibes. Did he ever have that fish? Is there anything he could have done differently? Give the man a break! When he said ‘I’ve gotta be ‘really bloody careful here’ and promptly dropped his reel I couldn’t even laugh.

Michael

Michael’s trying out some new material and it’s a great advertisement for not spending too much time alone.

The Wallaby net thing is looking good though. It’ll definitely be necessary because that trap is hellish, like why would a pademelon go in there? It’s the exactly opposite of Mike’s trap… but I guess that hasn’t been working either.

I feel like this thing would need some bloody good bait

The fact that the shoreline looks steep on camera means it must be brutal in real life, what a tough spot honestly. Luckily that means that spinachy grassy goodness grows right on the shoreline, hooray!

Turns out Michael is missing his wife and family pretty hard, as you’d expect I guess, but I think contestants often underestimate just how much it might affect them. Vin Diesel wouldn’t last one day.

Gina

Why’s Gina pulling up moss like it’s carpet? Oh, worms! Which she’s putting in her boots. Haha I love how Gina promised to wear shoes during the show but has taken them off at every opportunity.

Kate, are you watching? Gina’s gonna eat the worms! Based solely on the reasoning that ‘everything loves the worms’. Love it. You’re gonna cook them first though…right?

Could you cut the worm in half and let it grow into two worms? With a bit of elbow grease I reckon Gina could have infinite worms, it’s basic maths.

Or just a handful, in half an hour! That’s insanely efficient – why has it taken this long to figure this out – is this a hack we’re all missing? Guess it depends on how it tastes.

Delicious! Apparently. Just cook out the E Coli and it’s good to go!

Gina is starting to look like a red hot threat. Also, I wanted to quote that worm song in last week’s recap but thought no one would get it. Turns out Gina knows it, take it away gurl!

Kate

Coming back to Kate I’ve been struck by a realisation, everyone still on the show is over 40. I wonder if that’s thanks to more mental resilience from being a bit older, and maybe slightly slower metabolisms? It’s definitely a fun fact and another thing that sets Alone apart from other reality TV where everyone is like five.

We’ve only made it to day 22 after a third of the episode though, methinks one of the contestants is taking a boat home pretty soon.

Hopefully not Kate! ‘What is it that I need?’ she says – You need a $250k payday, eyes on the prize!

Gina

When we catch back up with Gina it’s just after Kate’s started looking flakey and I KNOW IT’S ALL IN THE EDIT but damn if that wasn’t a contrast. Gina’s caught one fish a day since her first one? My lord that’s consistent. I’m psyched she’s made broth with the bones too – I always cringed when Chris would launch his fish bones back into the water.

Gotta eat the spermies ASAP but the rest can wait for breakie

I reckon the constant presence of Lady Larila the platypus is a strong indicator that Gina’s posted up in a fairly abundant zone. But visually it’s no different, especially to Mike’s spot, so I wonder if it really is all in the technique…or bait.

Does anyone else think it’s crazy we’re still getting character backstory? We’ve had Michael’s ex-wife and conversion to Christianity, Kate’s Mum passing away (this isn’t quite new), and Gina’s incredibly wholesome parting with her husband. Will we get anything from Mike? I feel like he keeps his cards close to his chest.

Kate

Woah, Kate’s pulled a ‘purpose tap’. That’s what I’m calling it. When you love the bush but you love your family more. That was calculated, Kate full on strode down to the beach – something makes me think you wouldn’t want to get in her way when she’s on a mission.

Probably the most powerful stance of the show thus far

What’s that Into The Wild quote? ‘Happiness is only real when shared’? At some point doing things solely for yourself takes a special kind of mindset, and not necessarily the type to end up on television. Gina’s said similar things recently.

I reckon people underestimate the difference between limited contact and no contact. Not even a text or a postcard. It’s a big deal and I’m impressed Kate made it that far with a baby at home. And only a few eels for dinner? Bravo.

Mike

Interesting that Mike is battling to even find worms! But it’s a pretty smart change of approach because I reckon his wood and rubber lure is battling.

Gina

See what I mean about the quick cuts? Anyway, Gina has just said she’s going to save her fish for breakfast, signalling a major shift in her approach. But first, gotta eat the sperm, it’s the yummy snack that just can’t wait!

Mike

C’mon Mike, stay strong mate. You can’t starve this one out because Gina’s got a production line, let’s hook in (heh) to the night shift.

He’s got a bite let’s gooo! Pull it in dude holy shit so many others have done it. Oh we’re walking into the water in undies? Ok dude but HURRY UP! STOP TALKING! Christ, he’s up to his shoulders? RIP this looks so grim, total Gollum vibes, the Smeagol crown has been taken from Duane.

‘The eel is mine, I caughts the Precious IT’S MINE’

Mike has bloody done it. He’s caught an eel. I cannot believe how hard that looked. I’m so glad he’s grilling it, oh wait no he’s boiling it? Idk what’s happening just get it in ya gob mate.

Apparently that eel was approximately the same amount of calories as all of Gina’s trout? Do they just have some guy on the team at SBS guesstimating this stuff? How many worms = one pademelon?

Michael

That 50 calorie soup was pure sadness, that’s like half an Easter Egg’s worth of energy (Source: the Easter Eggs I am eating).

Turns out Michael has got the shits with his campsite and has hiked east for a feed. Let’s hope this goes better than his first hiking adventure.

And as it turns out, it’s a total paradise with paw prints and an easy-to-access shoreline. It definitely makes you wonder if some of the contestants set up their permanent shelter too early without scouting their area.

Let’s hope Michael can actually get a fish though, eh? But that ghetto handline technique doesn’t look promising.

Gina

Well, I’m going to have to eat my words here because Gina’s reeling fish in with the exact same technique as Michael, classic (I would die on this show).

Isn’t that trout simply massive? How did Gina go from not even fishing to becoming a Supertrawler? It just blows my mind.

Mike

Woah, what is this fishing setup that Mike’s rigged up? His shoreline really does suck ass. All the locations were pulled out of a hat though, so he was just very unlucky.

Anyway in classic zero to 100 fashion Mike now has too much meat to eat in one go. I hope that an eagle doesn’t just come and yoink his eels while they’re hanging out though! On the plus side, the smoker he’s built is so pleasing. He’s such a bushcraft lord.

I feel like day three Mike would have built the smoker first and had it ready to go, but day twenty-three Mike is a little less confident.

Michael

This ep is giving me whiplash. Honestly, it’s impressive Michael is in the top three given that he hasn’t caught any food and he appears to be living in a shady part of the rainforest. But not for long! He’s going to make the ambitious move 1.2km away which will either end him or save his campaign. Honestly, I back it. Though he will be leaving his trap behind.

Mike

Mike hasn’t looked at his family photo yet! ‘I’m saving it for a rainy day, ahh, not this rainy day.’ Bahaha. The smoked eel looked brilliant though, I’d forget about being lonely with some of that in my tum too.

Gina

Gina’s quote, ‘Technically I’m alone, in terms of humans,’ sums up why she’s built different. Where some people would see only rough wilderness, Gina sees a loving, giving nature that she’s a part of. I’m wondering if she’ll ever leave.

Next Week

It’s heating up! Surely it’s a battle between Mike and Gina at this point, unless Michael has a heap of luck after his move. Though as a branch seems to fall on his head, I kind of doubt it. There were hints that Mike and Gina might both need to get some larger (read: mammalian) food sources happening soon, but for now they’re both looking strong. With just two episodes left I have no idea who’s going to take it out, bring on the finale!

Got thoughts? Hit me up in the comments below or on Facebook. Hooroo!