Tim’s back with his balmy takes on Alone Australia as the contestants settle in for some long days with empty bellies.

 

G’day, or as Chris would say, ‘MORNING!’ in a voice so loud he might’ve been heard on the mainland. Cheers for reading and sharing your thoughts on the recap last week, it’s given me the green light to spend company time discussing a TV show, grouse.

First up, anyone lowkey want a KIA now? I’m not sure why a people mover is sponsoring this show but it’s… working?

Welcome back to Lake Pieman (probably) where we’re now down to seven contestants on day three. Who has the skills, or chutzpah, to go the distance?

Don’t miss: Alone Australia Recap – Soggy Already on Episodes 1 & 2

Spoiler Alert

If you haven’t watched the first three episodes, jump onto SBS OnDemand and do that now. It’s a recap baby, I’m going deep and dishing the dirt.

Mike

Let’s be honest, Mike is a hot contender, but this ep stepped it up a notch.

First though, can we talk about not eating for two days? Anyone do the 40 hour famine before? We did a seven hour one in year six that ended with a pizza party. Take me back.

Anyway, Mike’s looking a bit sleepy and sounds a bit, stuffy? He’s dropped a hint about prep time, he started preparing ‘full time’ when he found out he was on the show and gained ‘19kg in two months’. Not heaps of time to level up for the show, especially if you’re still working.

 

Notice how Mike’s shelter is based on two tripods, not surrounding trees?

 

I’m loving his informative video style, you can tell the dude’s a YouTuber. He’s set up fishing lines in a semicircle that he can watch, as contestants have to watch their line at all times and release catches of restricted species, like platypus. There are a LOT of rules going on and I kind of wonder how they’d be enforced? If you’re starving would you eat a platypus? Forbidden food for thought?

Do you reckon anyone didn’t take fishing hooks and line as one of their ten approved items? I have a hunch Peter didn’t…

Read more: Our First Reactions to the 41 Approved Gear Items for Alone Australia Contestants

Despite how prepared he is, Alone reminded us how quickly things can change. Mike swings his hatchet and drops it, narrowly missing his thigh. That would have been a lame way to go (sorry) and it shows how hunger affects things too.

 

I was very glad we didn’t lose Mike this early (check the axe swinging toward his leg)

 

But also (and this wasn’t mentioned on the show), Mike has Covid. Shit! He revealed it on his YouTube Channel the other day and he’s tackling it pretty differently to Jimmy. He really doesn’t want to get pulled off the show. It also explains the whole focus-on-making-a-kayak thing. Did anyone else wince when he started cutting his second tarp?

Kate

Hahaha the first proper intro we get to Kate is her imitating a raven, That’s So Kate. I love how she wakes up on day three like ‘Oh ok, I’m hungry now’. If I don’t eat for five hours I’m posting emo song lyrics on Facebook, who are these people?

Oh man and she’s left the cutest, freshest little baby at home with her wife as well. Goodness that must have been hard. It’s pretty interesting how many people on the show have families, who’s actually single, just Jimmy and Gina? Should they? Anyway.

Kate’s also got big ol’ YouTube Channel vibes, that scene with the edible grass was classic, I felt like I was watching an episode of Totally Wild.

There are a lot of mushrooms in Kate’s zone but participants have been advised not to risk eating them as so many are poisonous. At first I thought this was another dumb rule but to be honest, unless you had really specific knowledge of the area it’s probably wise. Bummer though, a mushroom as big as your head would be some good bush tucker!

 

Looks like eel’s back on the menu!

 

Kate’s found a huge worm for bait and heeelll yeah she’s caught an eel. First one to get protein baby! It was nice to see her thank the eel and not enjoy killing it. Dunno if she had to though because she absolutely choked that thing down.

‘I don’t really like fish,’ Kate said as she boiled her eel. Lol, tough times ahead sis. But as we leave her to her eel stew by a roaring fire (interesting) I reckon she’s looking pretty on top of things.

 

Bit grim, but the shelter is looking palatial!

Chris

Let’s go for a random stroll with Chris! He’s off to club a possum over the head, which you’re allowed to do as long as it’s ‘humane’. Problem is, they’ll probs hear Chris coming.

Turns out that a possum can provide up to 18 days worth of protein, while a 1kg trout will last you four. Not a bad catch! But he doesn’t find anything, or any crayfish when he pivots to that. Man is looking hungry.

Chris opened up pretty strongly on this episode about his PTSD from the war in Iraq, and how coping with alcohol led to a breakdown. It was pretty pure and I felt like it explained him a bit. He’s also loving the nature bathing for his brain, but I do wonder if the stress of a deepening survival situation is gonna push him too hard.

The joy on his face when he caught that fish (and yeeted it ten metres inland) was adorable though. You go dude!

Peter

‘When I say I’m the baddest motherfucker in this competition it’s because I am.’

Woah haha, like what kind of bad though?

Peter’s approach hasn’t changed heaps from the previous days. He’s walking around with his huge axe looking for animal tracks, there hasn’t been much mention of fishing or trapping, and he’s mostly complained that his area sucks and has no animals.

I just don’t think that’s true? Sure, there aren’t any elk walking into the crosshairs but I’d be surprised if there’s nothing there. It’s probably just scrambled away or hidden long before he’s rocked up. That being said, it does look particularly muddy.

 

Grrrrr

 

I’m no expert and it’s hard to base a fair opinion off some self-filmed and then edited footage, but it really feels like he’s working against nature, not with it. His anger boils over a few times as he slips over in the mud and hits his knee, ‘Everything keeps fucking me here, like if you don’t want me here fucken tell me’.

Just when I thought Peter was calming down and ready to take a new approach he whipped out the satellite phone and bailed. Woah. I think that the calmness we’ve seen from the other contestants who tapped is them knowing it’s over.

Gotta say, didn’t expect that. Sure Pete seemed pretty boned, but I thought his pride would’ve kept him out there a bit longer to hurt a little more. As the Extraction Team picks him up he’s suddenly talking a lot about his knee, again, hard to know if he did seriously injure himself or not. But I’m a little sceptical. I hope the edit didn’t do him dirty.

Six remain.

Duane

Hey Duane! Nice to meet ya!

I’ve decided, very quickly, that Duane is chaotic good. He’s so friendly! He’s a bit of a bush tucker lord and reckons he can get by on very little (why’d he eat that millipede though?), he’s even found a fruiting coffeeberry plant – with typically Australian tiny wussy fruits on it.

But his initial shelter sucks. God damn was the aim to catch water dude? I really can’t fathom it. He’s got a hole in the tarp and is just kind of battling. In the Ep 4 preview it looks like he’s built a house though, so maybe he just had a bad start.

 

Less than ideal

 

It’s cool there’s still an Aboriginal person in the mix too, I was enjoying the unique perspective Rob and Beck were bringing. I also love that his family is doing renos and living in a caravan and he’s just bailed to live under a tarp bucket.

Keen to see more of Duane.

Not Seen in This Ep

Michael (still!) and Gina, who’s had heaps of airtime.

The State of Play

Mike, Kate, Gina, Chris, Duane, and Michael remain. The first three are strong contenders and while Mike’s already making tools to make other tools, we don’t really know what Gina’s up to and Kate’s actually had some food.

Chris and Duane are definitely more chaotic and Michael? Absolute wildcard, but he’s lasted this long.

Catch you next week, I can’t bloody wait.

Oh and special shoutout to WAE Contributor Rachel Dimond for the virtual watch party. Alone is better with friends.