Not in Kansas Anymore – Reflections of an American Travelling Australia

It’s no surprise that on the surface travelling through Australia and the United States often feels very much the same. But dig a little deeper, and the stark differences are impossible to ignore.

As an American, meandering 15,000km across the Australian continent, I found myself constantly falling into the trap of making subconscious comparisons between life Down Under and back home.

But beneath the superficial surface of abstract similarities, the subtle voice of the Aussie spirit points out the many not-so-subtle differences between the two. The most obvious of these being that Aussies drive on the wrong side of the road and that all the local mammals have pockets.

With every thousand kilometres passed, the number of differences add up, and by the 10,000th kilometre, a meandering American such as myself, begins to realize they aren’t in Kansas anymore.

Besides the obvious, here are my three favorite not-in-Kansas observations:

Australian Marketing and The Myth of The Wildlife

Australia’s wildlife, like Foster’s beer, has an incredible marketing team in the United States. Survived only by the Crocodile Dundees and Red kangaroos of the Outback, the country is populated with wildlife which maintains an exotic sense of danger in the American imagination.

Snakes, spiders, sharks, crocodiles, box jellies, paralysis ticks, the male platypus; each species three metres tall and deadly poisonous. Each species intent on murdering and eating tasty Americans.

In reality, these creatures are not quite so tall and not so murderous, and most importantly, still tend to prescribe to one of the unnatural laws of nature: they’re more afraid of you than you are of them.

I know this because I saw a snake once. It slithered into my camp and when I saw it I jumped up and shrieked and the snake, seeing me, jumped up and shrieked, and we turned from each other and ran. The snake was clearly a follower of the unnatural law.

It’s important to point out that while I’ve tested the ‘more afraid of you’ theory with a snake – which was either a harmless jungle snake or a non-harmless Tiger snake – I didn’t test it with a Kakadu Saltwater crocodile. Results may vary.

Of course crocs and sharks are not to be trifled with, but these are easily avoided if you stick to one of the many swimming pools of Australia, which seem to populate every campground and holiday park. In contrast, swimming in a pool in the U.S. is no protection from a grizzly bear. So which country is more dangerous after all?

The Beauty and Diversity of the Aussie Language

It may come as a surprise that most Australians don’t speak with the Paul Hogan-esque accent of an Outbackian. For over a year before my trip I lived in a quiet, beachside town just south of Byron Bay, shocked at how understandable everyone was and learning the unique differences between Australian and American English.

The differences between arvos, servos, and bottle-os; ‘reckon’-ing this thing or that; learning the practical application of the equation: (English word)-(unnecessary letters)+(letter ‘O’)=(Australian word). Understanding this equation guarantees that a traveller can communicate with the locals anywhere.

Road Trains

Lastly, while both countries lack accessible and affordable transcontinental train systems, Australia has something that the U.S. doesn’t: the Northern Territory road train. Four tractor trailers long – plus a cab – and armed with more tyres than a tyre store, this modern marvel is the truck-equivalent of a Blue whale.

Thankfully the roads of the Northern Territory are so straight and so empty for so long (even if they’re only two lanes wide). Road train drivers are polite and understand the dangers of passing on a two-lane road; they use their right-blinkers to signal the ‘all clear’.

With the gas pedal mashed to the floor it takes my tiny, horsepower-less Prius C six full minutes to completely pass.

* The Northern Territory Road Train is not exclusive to the Northern Territory, it’s just where I first saw them. They also inhabit the South and West Australian states.*

Australia is so much more than breaded chicken, Bondi beaches, and an opera house. It’s a country so vast and diverse, captivating, bizarre, and strange, that you can’t help but realise this is a place unlike anywhere you’ve ever been, and that you ‘aren’t in Kansas anymore’.

Photos by Hugo R. Adumas, drawings by Brem Bok
Feature image by Nicole Banks