Episode 4 of Alone Australia hit us right in the feelies. Tim’s simmered his thoughts over an open fire – has it really only been a week?

 

How the bloody hell are ya? Is what we would say, if this show was G-rated at all. But instead there’s been a helluva lot of swearing, which has drawn some complaint from parents who just want to watch family-friendly starvation without all the cussin’.

SBS, to their credit, haven’t backed down at all. In fact they posted a ‘swearing supercut’ yesterday with every profanity from the first three eps.

Personally I’m not that into swearing, but it’s not like SBS told them to use bad words. That’s just what Australians are like when they’re alone in a bit of a shithole.

How’s it hangin’ in lutruwita?

Alright it’s day four (just, it’s 1am) and six people are left. We’ve lost Rob, Beck, Jimmy, and Peter, and everyone who’s left has proven they at least kind of sorta know what they’re doing. Well except for Michael, who we haven’t even met yet! Where you at trenchcoat dude?

Gina

We missed Gina’s youthful energy (despite her 52 years) in the last ep so I’m pleased it’s opening with her. That being said, what’s she up to at 1am?

Oh woah, this is a pretty heavy start to the recap but some much-needed backstory. In a nutshell, 14 years ago Gina was pregnant and then found out that she had breast cancer, she managed to have her child, Blaise, and go into remission, but three years later they passed away from cancer of their own.

Gina’s filmed herself talking to a small fire and it’s tough to watch her remember the anniversary of their birth so early in the Alone adventure. Like with Chris’s storytime last week, I’m thankful to the contestants for filming these moments. I’d be tempted to just switch the camera off and have some privacy, but perhaps when you’re so alone, knowing that your voice will be heard gives it more meaning?

 

Gina’s backstory at the start of episode 4 was full on

 

Gina’s also dealt with the depression such an experience brings and reckons that makes her mentally tough enough to deal with Alone. Fair play. That shelter that you can stand up in and a bed probably isn’t hurting either my dude.

Can you imagine seeing a platypus when you’re that hungry and just having to enjoy the experience like Gina does? Made of different stuff I reckon.

Mike

My guy hasn’t eaten yet and is putting all his time into building ‘food gathering systems’. It seems like a risky play but shows his experience of being starved before. That being said, he’s taken a break from the kayak build and is setting up trail cameras.

Ok woah so turns out the trail cameras aren’t just to capture some wildlife B-roll. Each contestant has two cameras and can review the footage.

Our staff member Josh reckoned this was a bit against the spirit of things, which is a pretty fair point. That being said, with only 36 species on offer in a harsh environment the producers must have thought the contestants needed a helping hand, and it’s a level playing field. It might cut down on unnecessary harm too.

Mike sounds soo sick by the way. How many people do you reckon have beaten Covid without eating a single thing? It’s gotta be pretty rare.

In our reintroduction to Mike he says ‘after only a week’, but it’s only been four days. Liberal editing or is Mike losing his mind? I’d say that’s a hint he makes it at least seven days.

 

 

Which isn’t surprising because look at that fishing rod. Are you serious? How does Mike just create the Scandi Ikea version of everyday items with an axe and a knife. Seems like he’s decided he’s hungry enough to give fishing a crack sans-kayak which is an interesting change of plan.

And he’s changed plans again after seeing a pademelon on the trail cam. Wild. Do you reckon Peter and Chris have unwrapped their trail cams?

Duane

Welcome back to the opposite of MTV cribs where we show you the worst houses imaginable – thanks Duane for coming on the show.

It’s pretty sweet that he says he hopes everyone else has a better shelter than him, he’s so nice it hurts a little bit.

WOAH ok by day three Duane has just gone full logger dude. How is that thatched roof situation even holding up? Is that river sand for a comfortable floor? I don’t know what happened on day one but it seems my guy has put all of his energy into building a fortress. Sick.

 

Ok Duane this is starting to look pretty legit

 

It’s cool how he wants to stay out for ages and connect to Country. Probably needs a better axe technique though geez he nearly split his foot in half.

I cannot believe he’s still using the same shelter from day one while he builds this house – he is really backing himself.

Fast forward to day five and he’s done! Damn dude, that shack looks pretty cosy. To be honest it doesn’t look super weatherproof though, the door is pretty wide, so I’ll be keen to see his next steps. The wide angle GoPro of the living space is giving Sydney rental market vibes.

Duane digs into his Grandmother’s history as a member of the Stolen Generations and how that motivates him to stay strong, which is another special moment. Australia has a really crappy history at times and I’m glad SBS is showcasing that to the rest of the world.

It’s got me thinking about everyone’s motivations too. There are some people with really tough backstories and they’re up against others who seem very competent in a survival setting. The only person who seems to tick both boxes is Gina – last seen dancing on moss.

Michael

Of course his camera is foggy. Hi Michael, nice to meet you my guy. Hope that water with possum poo in it doesn’t send you round the twist.

Good to see someone intentionally collecting water from their tarp.

So we know Michael is pretty Christian, big Alone US vibes, and I don’t reckon this will have much bearing on how he performs either way. He reckons it will though so that’s nice, maybe he’ll feel less… alone?

His skills reel though, damn, man definitely seems pretty wild. However the wildest thing is probably that bright green Jeep of his though, it doesn’t even have doors? Yeehaw!

Michael’s bush bashing adventure gives a pretty good indication of how brutally thick the scrub is in this part of Tassie. AND HE’S LEFT HIS COMPASS BEHIND. Bro, you should be checking that thing every two metres. That being said, if I was this hungry I would’ve made way more mistakes by now.

He makes it back to his shelter (luckily) and we’ve seen that he has two pairs of shoes, hiking boots and gumboots. That explains how Mike could use his for storing water. What are the limitations? Can I bring loafers with a saw in them? What about those watches made of candy?

 

It’s possible that it was only divine intervention that stopped Michael losing his compass in dense scrub

Kate

Haha yikes Kate was that an eel fart? Very glad we haven’t invented Smell-O-Vision.

I wonder how many plant species Kate can find? I’d actually be stoked to learn more about bush tucker because most of the Aussie bush looks very not-yummy to me. The show states ‘Australia has over 6500 bush foods’ but how many are on West Coast Tasmania?

Kate’s found the coffee berry that Duane found too but she’s testing to see if she’s allergic to it first. Don’t think Duane did that #millipedeman.

It’s interesting she’s still struggling a bit with the idea of hunting and killing wildlife, I wonder if we’ll see that change? I definitely love her inclusion as the most ‘hikey’ person on the show, it really highlights the difference between a modern way of interacting with nature versus a more survivalist, bushcraft approach. But will she have to change her ways?

Chris

Is Chris angry or not? His tone gives off that kinda scary vibe where I’m not quite sure.

Wait are we walking around trying to club possums again dude? I love how he just yelled at the top of his voice for a funny bit, now every possum within 100 metres has fled or gone into hiding.

 

RAWR XD

 

I’d probably say that Chris is looking like most out of his depth contestant at this point. He hasn’t had the patience to finish his net so he’s back to fishing, which to be fair he’s succeeded at once.

I reckon the cracks start to show when people start wondering if their area sucks compared to others, which is what Chris has started doing. Sure, some areas will have benefits compared to others, but I reckon it’s pretty unlikely the animals are just avoiding your area, they’re not that far apart.

Where are we leaving everyone?

Well, Mike got that close to catching a pademelon right away. Was anyone else almost a little satisfied that he didn’t though? You’re not perfect Mike!

To be fair his comments about turning weaknesses into strengths explain exactly why he’s often so on top of things. Bet he’ll have roast pademelon for dinner to celebrate the one week milestone.

Duane, well we know his shelter is much improved, but it’ll have to be able to cope with gusty winds and at this point, I’m not convinced.

Chris is really hangry, I wonder if catching the trout early actually pushed out his starvation and has made him feel worse? He still hasn’t finished his net either and it’s looking pretty grim mentally.

Kate, how are you in such a good mood dude? Mental strength is so key on this show, I reckon some of the contestants feel exactly the same way but react very differently.

Gina’s shelter is looking strong and she hasn’t even mentioned food, I feel like she’s just letting her body start burning fat reserves. We know from the intro that she catches something massive later on so she’s still a good bet.

And Michael has shown he’s no survival numpty, but he’s possibly not the best film maker. Bit of a dark horse if you ask me.

And that’s a wrap! Six contestants left and we’re pretty sure they all made it seven days. Bring on week two!

Got thoughts? Have at it in the comments.