Who says you need to study journalism to be an ace reporter?
That’s right, I’ve got the scoop of the year. Forget pictures of Spiderman, this is the real shit.
The famous Blue Mountains Penis Cairn has been vandalised.
The attack, which I can only assume was carried out by a radical and highly organised group of hikey feminists, has rendered the Penis Cairn in the Blue Mountains no more.
It’s now a giant pair of tits.
As a male, I’m offended. But while I’m eyeing off some drywall and dreaming of road rage, let’s unpack what we’re seeing here.
The photos were sent to me by a bloke called Mal. Or Peter. His email didn’t line up to his name which is a massive red flag.
Anyway MalPeter (chuck him a follow @traveling.hungry.mal) just went out to find a big rock cock. Instead, he was met by a pair of ridiculously round boobies. Unrealistic standards anyone?
It can’t have been that long since the attack either, as the penis cairn’s outline is still visible.
Anyway, it’s worth noting, like we did the first time we talked about this cairn, that moving rocks in the bush is generally poor form. Lil lizards and spiders and snarks and grumkins use them as habitat.
Think Leave No Trace out there. Do your best not to build any phallic symbols, monolithic, 2-dimensional or otherwise. And that goes for you too ladies!